Wal-Mart Dance Party!

What happens when you take a gang of 25 punks, sceneagers and freaks to Wal-Mart for a dance party on the busiest shopping weekend of the year?

You'll have to bear with some of the sideways camera angles during the soul train (if anyone wants to volunteer to edit it, please email me) and the long Spinal Tap entrance, but it's well worth getting to the end to hear the lady's comments as the Redneck Security Tour tried desperately to shut the music off (which took them a good minute before the finally found which boom box the music was coming from).
This particular dance party was our third, last and best of the day.

Here's our first, shortlived Dance Part at the Wal-Mart on 8th Street to the tune of "Safety Dance":

And here's our Dance Part at Target to the tune of Junior Senior's "Move Your Feet":

I have to say I'm amazed that we didn't get arrested or at least patted down by security. We did get escorted out after our last attempt by the sides of security beef, but they didn't do anything more than tell Brian to turn off his camera. (They later found us in the parking lot and asked to see the pics and seemed sort of amused, but I wasn't sure they weren't going to confiscate our cameras so we split). My video card was full by this point, but here's one of Brian's pics of their not funny diarrhea club:

What we learned:

We weren't terribly organized on our first attempt. One of our friends brought an ipod w/ an iRok transmitter and a forward guard had tuned all the boom boxes to the same transmitter station. In the mean time, there was a gang of at least 25 punks, sceneagers and freaks hanging around the electronics section trying to figure out how to not look suspicious. Once all the boom boxes got tuned and we got "Safety Dance" going. they just came and shut off the power to the entire section.

Lesson 1: Don't malinger beforehand unless you wear white trash disguises. There's something not-so-terribly-believable about a large gathering of disheveled sceneagers and anarchists in black with mohawks, nose rings and tats on a group shopping trip in the Wal-Mart music section.

We had better luck at Target on our second stop. Amazingly, they didn't have a section where you could listen to the boom boxes, so everyone pretty much just scattered around the electronics section, making the employees nervous. Finally, Big Balls just plugged a boom box in and wired the speakers. Unfortunately, the kid with the iPod didn't make it, so we just put a CD in and turned it up. The party lasted longer at Target -- about 2 minutes -- before a lackey came and shut it down.

Lesson 2: Amazingly, even when you do have a large gathering of anarchists in black with mohawks, nose rings and tats on a group shopping trip at a big box store, it'll probably just confuse the shit out of the staff. Also, Even if you have an iPod and an iRok, be sure to burn a CD of dance music you don't mind losing when you get kicked out.

On our last attempt, we sent Brian in ahead by himself w/ a CD that he loaded into one of the larger boom boxes while we all waited out in the parking lot. He called from his cell phone when he was ready and we all filed in (note the Spinal Tap entrance on the VIDEO). This was, by far, the best technique. The employees in the electronics department didn't have time to get ready for us and the party lasted for almost 3 minutes. And when they came to shut the boom box off, they couldn't figure out which one it was.

Lesson 3: Sending someone ahead was the best method by far. Even if security sees your entourage entering en masse, they won't really know what to do and you're not doing anything illegal, yet. They also won't know where you're going, even if they suspect you're there to steal or do something obnoxious. If your style is out of step with big box couture, it's also likely that security will be afraid of appearing to profile you, and you can use that to your advantage. Getting apprehended by security while doing something innocuous is also a great to find out who the undercovers are just in case you need to do some shopping later.

In conclusion, I highly reccomend Wal-Mart/Target/Big Box dance parties to any and all.

Thanks to everyone who showed up and danced!

Here are some more pics by Brian:

Comments

[John Dicker]

I think line dancing is your best bet on these. Have a sort of organized dance structure so that shoppers/party people can jump right in.

I'd be up for a Sam's Club salsa night or perhaps a Supercenter Line Dancing extravaganza.

Next time perhaps multiple camers???

[Jeff]

I love the photo of me. That's going to be my new Myspace pic!

[Denise]

LOLOL I wish my weird looking kids were cool enough to think of this sort of thing! They aren't, so I'm sending them the link. Maybe they can do it on Christmas Eve...

[Brad]

Thanks for the laughs and happiness this morning! I needed it!

[apocolypse now]

Dumber than dogshit.

[EmiOfBrie]

How about this....attach one of those FM transmitters to your iPod, and tune every boombox and stereo to the frequency? ;)

[C_V]

wow, and here I thought "sceneager" was meant as an insult when I first read it. Still nothing I'd want to be.

wtf is wrong with you trend-oids that you have to go fuck up people at work? especially on the worst day of the year for retail workers. they don't come to your job and slap the dick outta your mouth.

you're not anarchists, you're idiots.

[Al Muchefi]

Yeah, it looks like those Walmart employees may never recover. Jesus, I can't even imagine the trauma of experiencing a completely harmless prank.

I can't begin to conceive of the kind of consumerist cocoon in which you'd have to exist to consider dancing around for a few minutes at Walmart fucking with anyone. Talk about stupids.

[Steph]

Ahem, to the commenter C_V: speaking as somebody who works retail and has, in fact, worked at a SuperTarget over one holiday season, I would have absolutely CHEERED such a group. So speak for yourself, pal! I think it would have been a wonderful momentary diversion from the lameness of the Xmas shopping deluge. I don't think there's anything wrong with a bunch of lovable (and I say this lovingly) freaks dancing around to some good music for a few minutes. After all, it's not like they were shoplifting or damaging merchandise or anything. Geez.

[Greg Sparkman]

I haven't watched the vids, but the still shots show lots of smiles and dancing. If I'm a business owner that's going to be pranked let it be a happy bunch of sceneagers providing some free entertainment.

[Lisa]

Absolutely hilarious - I wish I'd been around to see that happen! I wisely stayed HOME on black friday, though I did contemplate going out to laugh at the people who were cramming the aisles at the crack of dawn.
I feel bad for the folks who had to work retail early that morning - all the cranky jerks who came outta the woodwork and didn't understand "NO RAIN CHECKS".
Good on you guys for bringing a little levity to those stores! +D

[Steph]

Oh, yeah, and what *was* that woman saying at the end at the first video? And who was she? I only caught something that sounded like, "Where's the asshole who thought they could do this at Wal-Mart? That's not right."

This is what happens when mommy doesn't know where baby snotleigh is after school.

[blazingsparkler]

Rock on, freaky sceneagers! If I would have been in the store when you came in, I would have started dancing too.

[Laura]

Wow, this is awesome! Wish my friends and I could have done that.

[Rence]

That was amazing. If I wasn't in Kansas, I would've been there!

[Smart]

Awesome! I love it when people pick on the weak! You guys rule. Next time just take a giant shit on the register, that'll really show them! Don't forget to wipe douchebags.

[ashley]

that girl with the red hair is mega-cute.

[Thoth]

Smart. That's the word, no doubt. If only someone could protect the humorless mongoloid bastards from the evil intentions of the fecalphiliacs.

Just because you lack the grey matter to process the humor doesn't mean it's reasonable for you to project your confusion onto the help. If you're so concerned about Walmart employees, do something to improve their working conditions, rather than bitching about an utterly harmless prank.

Health benefits would be a good place to start, although the definition of a full time employee could use a good reworking, too. I suspect you're the kind of person who could really give a damn about Walmart employees, so long as you're scoring some hot, hot, Asian-prison labor products. But if you actually give a shit, then do something more useful than complaining about harmless idiocy.

The greatest problem for Walmart employees isn't people dancing in the stores, it's the unchecked abuses of a powerful retail giant fueled by the nearly insatiable demand of consumers for cheap electronics.

[Jeff]

It's nice to see that doing something silly like dancing at Wal-Mart can get people talking about serious issues like shitty work conditions. In some ways that was the point. It is much easier and funnier to get attention focused on an issue like this than doing something boring and inane like an Adbusters "buy nothing day" or standing out front of Wal-Mart with signs.

[Someone]

Wow, thats awesome. Nothing like that would happen here, in England like that...ah well, i'll try. :D

[darksandal]

I'm glad Smart suggested cash register pooping. It's like top-shelfing for retail! I also feel bad for those really weak ape sausages that had to follow us out of the store with their shoes violently striking the linoleum over and over for over a 1/4 of a block. The employees were just devastated by our asshole dancing. So you're right about that. They were fuckin super bummed out, and wanted to go to therapy, but unfortunately didn't have good enough health coverage, so then they got fired and went on welfare and then were homeless and then got strung out on junk, which was sold to them by the CIA who actually cultivates poppy fields in Afghanistan and funnels the heroin into the US in the coffins of dead soldiers like Pat Tillman who used to play for the Cardinals, who totally suck by the way.

[Kait]

I don't understand why some people are so angry about this. Even if you don't think this served some kind of grass-roots political purpose--which I don't know if I do either--how can you possibly think this was harmful in any way? It seems like fun, and I think an employee with a sense of humour would've found it humourous as well.

[Doc]

It seemed to be a bit pointless, but I guess there doesn't have to be a point to everything. I think if the point was to be funny... you guys only scored a "mildly amusing". Someone mentioned that it may have had some political point... as in "Wallmart is a rotten corporation" (which many feel it is). But to me it just looked like a bunch of young people that don't even know that their Chuck Taylors are now made by nike... Or why that is important. Still having fun is its own reward.

At least no one had a "Shampoo Mohawk". : )

[darksandal]

Yes, while not always funny, fun is almost always fun.