Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her wheelchair catches on fire?

The following is an AIM exchange between Noel, me, and our internet ho Danielle concerning the ancient koan, "Have you ever fucked a girl so hard ... ?" Please do contribute.

ATRetka (10:12:59 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard, she throws up her Happy Meal?
daniellevicek (10:19:34 AM): h4v3 y0u 3v4r fuck3d 4 g!r1 50 h4rd 5h3 h4x y0ur ch0de?
ATRetka (10:20:07 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard the milk in her lactating breasts turns into cheese?
daniellevicek (10:26:46 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard she gets shaken baby syndrome and her four year old big brother starts crying uncontrollably and then their mom sues you for emotional distress?
ATRetka (10:27:29 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she's like flopping around and stuff and for a minute it looks like she's alive again?
daniellevicek (10:37:26 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard she turns into a beautiful woman that you love and then you get married and then stop having sex and you never fuck a girl so hard again?
ATRetka (10:39:44 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you're like, "Whoa, you looked a lot hotter in the bar. I don't think I can go through this," and she's like, "You pig!" and then you're like, "Chill out, bitch. I guess I'll let myself out," and then when you do she cries herself to sleep?
ATRetka (10:41:19 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her colostomy bag explodes?
daniellevicek (10:43:38 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you totally gave her a root canal?
daniellevicek (10:45:33 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard that it was with a shovel and not your penis?
ATRetka (10:46:08 AM): And in the skull, rather than the vagina?
daniellevicek (10:47:10 AM): YES!
ATRetka (10:47:55 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she leaks Tabasco from her nipples?
ATRetka (10:49:30 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she swallows her dentures?
daniellevicek (10:52:56 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard you broke her titanium replacement hip?
ATRetka (10:53:22 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her spinobifida spontaneously heals?
daniellevicek (11:03:35 AM): no but zane has!
daniellevicek (11:07:34 AM): 'have you ever fucked a girl so hard you dried out all her sharpies?
ATRetka (11:08:19 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard she flatlines, and you have to ditch her body in a Taco Bell dumpster and skip town?
daniellevicek (11:09:26 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard her insides turned into jr woppers with cheese and then you just ate her and then barfed into her asshole cuz it was the only thing that wasn.t a jr whopper with cheese?
ATRetka (11:09:39 AM): Ew.
ATRetka (11:09:50 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you fuck the extra chromosomes right out of her?
daniellevicek (11:11:10 AM): have you ever fucked a girl so hard donald rumsfeld shook your hand?
darksandal (10:42:07 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she had to file for disability ... because of how disabled she was 'n' stuff.
ATRetka (10:43:18 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she leaks semen from her stoma?
darksandal (10:43:55 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you break her heart, not literally, but metaphorically, because she knew she'd never get fucked that hard again.
ATRetka (10:44:08 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard the milk in her lactating breasts turns into cheese?
darksandal (10:44:20 AM): or butter
ATRetka (10:45:53 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that the handlebars break off her Bigwheel?
ATRetka (10:49:15 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that your slapping bodies set off her Clapper?
darksandal (10:51:59 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you got her pregnant and gave her an abortion all in the same session?
darksandal (10:52:16 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she grew a beard?
ATRetka (10:52:39 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that your dad pounds on your door and is like, "Hey! What's going on in there?" and you're like, "I'm making beignets, Dad," and he's like, "I don't believe a goddamn word you're saying! Open this door right this minute!" and you're like, "Damn, I guess I should've fucked you ten percent less hard"?
darksandal (10:53:41 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that hippies showed up and started a drum circle?
ATRetka (10:53:56 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you fuck her conjoined twin right off her?
ATRetka (10:55:33 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that it seemed like a dream, and in retrospect, it was, because no one could ever fuck a girl that hard?
ATRetka (10:56:25 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that the smell of your colliding bodies gets all the neighborhood dogs barking because they think you're making ham?
ATRetka (11:00:00 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard your quilt gets caught in her braces?
darksandal (11:00:26 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that dolphins cried?
ATRetka (11:03:02 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you're facing east and you reverse the spin of the earth and you end up fucking her INTO THE PAST?
darksandal (2:00:26 PM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you catheterized your penis on her cervix and/or gave her a hysterectomy?
ATRetka (11:03:54 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she opens a chain of discount tire stores?
darksandal (11:04:37 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her myspace account disappears?
ATRetka (11:05:59 AM): Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her pores start leaking hominy?

Comments

[MC Goodtime]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard she permantly had a Cosby face

[MC Gootime]

like this.....http://www.reames.org/images/fark/cosby.jpg

[Aaron]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that the room smells like Totino's Pizza Rolls, even though you didn't make Totino's Pizza Rolls?

[Viceroy Fizzlebottom]

... that she was secretly offended by it, but didn't say anything, and had to get fucked equally hard from that point forward because the precedent was already set and the judge ruled that not getting fucked so hard would be grounds for divorce because the girl turned out to be your really hot wife and the judge was a creepy old pervert who secretly wished he could fuck your wife so hard that she was secretly offended by it...

[darksandal]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she had to go to Nepal and/or Portland to find herself?

[MC Goodtime]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard it broke up "The Beatles"?

[Rex]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that her Mom orgasmed?

[Bigboy]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that it made Superman jealous?

[Whitz]

Have you ever fuckd a girl so hard, she farted lava?

[Whore Vidal]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that the radioactive core of her Pacemaker ruptured?

[Whitee]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that the inside of her mouth became so creamy white that she'd never need mayonnaise for tuna salad again?

[marcus]

this is THE FUNNIEST post i've read in a long time.

the FUNNIEST!!!!!!

[My Rectal Thermometer Blog]

Great post, and great site. Yes, I have "... so hard she fell out of her wheel chair." Actually it isnt that hard to do, since wheel chairs really don't offer much resistance nor good positioning. But that is quite a long story.
Adam

[Nick Punishment]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you struck oil?

[ali zafar]

have you ever fucked a girl so hard that instead of a doctor she need a tailor to sew her pussy & asshole............

[WildWoman]

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that the crabs in her pussy hair got heated up and started popping like pop corn?

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that the north- and southpole melt but at the same time all the water on this planet evaporated and even your girl turned into dust?

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she cried out so extremely loud that the acoustic waves outdistanced even lightwaves and made the black hole implode and the universe collapse?

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that all the walls in this world broke down and people lived their lives together in peace till the very end?

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that all physical energy sources on this planet suddenly got used up and energy conservation law got invalidly?

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard you generated earthquakes, landslides, volcanic eruptions and meteorite impacts at the same time?

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she broke up with you the next morning and never wanted to see you again?

Have you ever fucked a girl so hard that she cried rape and you ended up going to jail?

have you ever fucked a girl so hard that you pulverized her hipbones?

have u ever fucked a girl so hard that both of you ended up in hospital with third degree burns on your sexual organs?